Saturday, May 15, 2010
A Crime Against Vanilla
Today the pantry revealed a violent crime against Pure Vanilla Extract. Her lid was smashed, her bodily contents exsanguinated at the scene. Bystanders did nothing. They stood, stalwart and silent, as Vanilla went down for the count.
Three prime suspects emerged. Pumpkin, Gus and Joe were in the vicinity, clearly had the means and opportunity, and were known to have a beef against vanilla.
After intense questioning and some very high-tech forensics that I can't show you here, Pumpkin confessed. It turned out saucy Vanilla had been stepping all over Pumpkin for years, making a mockery of it at holiday dinners and keeping it from stepping out in other courses. "America's Favorite Pumpkin" will be going into Cold Storage for a long, long time.