Radio Silence Redux

So, yeah, I'm not really feeling bloggy at the moment because things are kinda sucky at the moment and I don't care to write about them to make them remotely real.

I did have one amusing experience today. We have a doofus dog. Actually, my parents have a doofus dog. (Oh, and they live next door.) Jac and I have a dog that amazes me everyday in a good way. Anyway, doofus is hangin' at our house during the day because the parents are renovating a bathroom and doofus has a big mouth and big, scary teeth. So I was rushing out of the house today and kept leaving things behind. On my fourth trip into the house I decided I'd be gone for quite a while and the dogs needed a potty run.

So I let the dogs out (no renovator yet) and when I turned around, Lexi the wonder dog was home looking proud and doofus dog was nowhere to be found. I.mean.nowhere.

Now, we are in the country and when you can't see the dog it generally means it has been abducted by aliens. So I headed over to the parents' house and that's when I saw the delivery truck. Uh oh. Cause I gotta tell you, doofus likes nothing better than a guy with a truck. So now I can see it all clearly - doofus darting across the field, taking down the delivery man...

And a moment later I spot the parents' front door wide open (it is the country but that's ridiculous). I approach the house and hear a dog barking. It's doofus. She's in a back bedroom barking out the window. I guess she wanted to go home enough to let herself in.

Busy Blogger

So I'm slogging back from Orlando.

Oh right, Orlando. This is my second time there in a month and I think I have had enough of the place for a long, long time. I did manage to cheaply upgrade to first class for both parts of the trip so I suppose it was the best possible travel. Airport security really is completely oboxious. My patience with people who still don't get the system is officially gone. My patience with insufficient screening personnel and equipment may never have existed.

I'm getting pretty used to first class air travel which may or may not be a good thing. The thing that constantly strikes me when I'm sitting up there is that this is the bare minimum that air travel should be. First class really isn't so amazing - there are seats that are reasonably comfortable, the environment is quiet and cordial, and the flight attendants are generally attentive to your needs. That is how all air travel should be. I can't understand why it isn't. I can't understand why these mega-billion dollar entities continue to get it soooo wrong. It's not about money - they lose money hand over fist. How about doing it the right way and seeing what happens?

And, as I get even more jaded, I was a little chagrined yesterday when our first class flight attendant used most of the flight from Orlando to DC to read USA Today. Usually those guys are darn persistent about plying you with teensy snacks and drinks. On my last flight home from Orlando I got a bit smashed on the Australian wine the attendant kept dousing me with. Not yesterday... Here's your Coke and your cashews, see you in an hour. But I got a lovely bit of knitting done on my latest Va Tech hat - boy did I buy a lot of that yarn!

We were late getting to the gate and I knew Jac was sitting in the cell phone waiting area waiting for me. I was zipping to the exits, barely doing a decent celeb scan when I passed the security lines. Man they're long, I thought. Geez, that guy looks like Anthony Bourdain. Nah. Wait, that is definitely Mario Batali. Hey, it's both of them. In the flesh.

I started to walk away content at the sighting when I realized that people were going to start doubting my celeb sightings. I mean, I took a town car right after Ted Kennedy, I saw Howard Dean last time I was at the airport. I ran into Oprah's Steadmond in an elevator, had lunch at the table next to Madeleine Albright, sat a few feet away from Helen Thomas once, once from Bob Schieffer, and Tim Russert another time. I saw Ann Richards at the metro station under her consulting firm. Passed Tom Ridge on my way out of the meeting he was going into. Got shoved out of the Pentagon badge photo chair for Bill Cohen. Met Tom Daschle, sat at a curbside table while Natalie Portman and a friend used the payphone a couple feet from us...

And so I reached into my bag and dug out a notebook and pen and approached the chefs for their autographs. I wish I could've been witty. I felt like a tool. I should be too cool to do that, but I needed evidence, dammit. I ended up telling them that I always see politicians, but it's rare to see two really good cooks in D.C.. They obliged me, Mario was pretty effusive, asking my name and clearly not put out a lick. Bourdain was nice, but rock star cool. I thank my lucky stars that I recognized both of them and didn't run up to one and not the other.

A view from my world

This is not a Photoshopped image. Jac took this picture yesterday after we were shocked - shocked I tell you - to see this sign swarmed by at least 20 people in a newspaper piece announcing the installation of the brand spankin' new flagpole. Can I just tell you how many people had to not see what this sign said? The sign makers and installers, the center honchos or whoever signed off on delivery, the more than 20 people who posed with it, the photographer and reporter, the newspaper layout staff, the editor, and the print guys. Impressive.
Proof of actual knitting going on in my life. Naturally, I failed to take a picture of the finished object before I sent it off into the universe.

Breathtaking, but belated view of Baltimore from our hotel from the big trip to the horse races.
And finally, this sign for gas has been up for two weeks. I, for one, find $31.9and9/10 far too much to pay for a gallon of regular. Now if it were Supreme that would be another story.

Bonjour Monsieur Renard

Dude, I just totally saw a fox scamper across my backyard and into our wooded brush. I feel a little like the corbeau.

Le Corbeau et le Renard
Maître Corbeau, sur un arbre perché,
Tenait en son bec un fromage.
Maître Renard, par l'odeur alléché,
Lui tint à peu près ce langage :
"Hé ! bonjour, Monsieur du Corbeau.
Que vous êtes joli ! que vous me semblez beau !
Sans mentir, si votre ramage
Se rapporte à votre plumage,
Vous êtes le Phénix des hôtes de ces bois. "
A ces mots le Corbeau ne se sent pas de joie ;
Et pour montrer sa belle voix,
Il ouvre un large bec, laisse tomber sa proie.
Le Renard s'en saisit, et dit : "Mon bon Monsieur,
Apprenez que tout flatteur
Vit aux dépens de celui qui l'écoute :
Cette leçon vaut bien un fromage, sans doute. "
Le Corbeau, honteux et confus,
Jura, mais un peu tard, qu'on ne l'y prendrait plus.

The Five Mother Sauces

Dear Mom,

Thank you for being the kind of person who would whip up a Mornay sauce on a Tuesday night. For teaching me that Bechamel is a beautiful thing. For giving me the memory (once or twice) of rolling out rows and rows of ravoli. For shaving dark chocolate and dousing Black Forest in Kirschwasser. For scalding my tongue with hot butter spraying from the center of Chicken Kiev. For showing me soft peaks.

Thank you for leaving the hors d'eouvres cookbook laying around and for leaving the actual appetizers unattended when your party moved on to dinner.

I just threw together the most decadent cream sauce for a quick Tuesday night dinner for one and it is all because of you.

Me

Scrounging Up

I think it is officially unofficial summer. That is when my brain shuts down for three months. But I still gotta blog.

Starter Wife: Kinda Sucks, A Lot
The first episode wasn't sooo bad. But the second? Man. I guess my problem is that I can't read romance novels. Seriously, in episode two Love Interest Sam says, "I think something's about to ignite...and I want to be there." And then they kiss. And that's when I throw up a little bit in my mouth. And yet Tivo tells me I just made it all the way through episode two. What the hell is wrong with me?

Horse Races Rock
...Even if I'm not secretly Super Lucky Lady. The last time we went - 10 years ago, I won $347 on a total bidding allowance of $20. I bet on a horse who ended up with such outrageous odds I thought he had died at the gate. He won! Not so much this time. But Jac practically whipped out a stogie and his race papers and called his bookie. He did come away a winner. We saw the whole darn Mom'sFamily Clan and it was really nice. Most notably, I finished my second Va Tech hat and gave the pair to my cousins. They turned out pretty cute, but I have got to make larger hats! Somewhere in a pattern I read it said to knit for 5 inches and then start reducing. If you do this, you have a hat that will fit my soon to be 9-year old cousin.


Can't Get Beyond the Thunder(cat) Dome
4:25 this morning. Jac and I are clinging to the last couple hours of sleep before we have to start a new week. That is until the blood-curdling growl of our cats losing their shit in the front hall. I don't know what got into these kids. Our petsitter left a note Sunday that said, "Do the cats usually hiss?" Apparently things are amiss in the unbelievably serene Cat Universe. What on Earth could they be fighting about? Whatever it is I hope it's blown over by 11 tonight.

Knitters are Hysterical and Awesome

Knitters really do rock:
The Top 10 Geekiest Yarn Creations on the Web
http://www.threadbanger.com/post/433/the-top-10-geekiest-yarn-creations-on-t

Welcome Back Ranter

We woke up early to the crashing sound of my newly installed shampoo dispenser hitting the bottom of the shower splattering its full cotents all over. We looked out the window to a grey, rainy day and decided to head back to the city early. On the way we stopped at Walmart because we are gluttons for punishment. We followed through the door a family that wouldn't be admitted to a NASCAR race for inappropriate attire. The youngun' was wearing untied high-top sneakers without socks, filthy shorts and no shirt. He set the standard for the family.

Walmart is an attrocious place, but man, they've got some electronics prices I can't find anywhere. Anyway, Jac and I got separated and I wound up outside standing in the rain at the car wondering if I would ever see my husband again. We headed North on 95 along with roughly 96.3% of the global population. We slugged into the neighborhood grocery store where the other 3.7% of the population showed up. When we got home, poured myself a Coke and collapsed on the bed. I've been hiding from thoughts of work and the week ahead. A moment later, I watched that Coke splatter all over, well, everything. This wasn't one of those spills where it soaks a magazine and you chuck it and get on with your life. This was an "every nook & cranny" type of spill. I spent about 10 minutes putting sailors to shame with my language.

I spent most of the weekend being annoyed that Directv's boxes aren't very compatible with Tivo. The boxes we have at the river don't have an output that connects to Tivo's channel changing input which means using these infernal IR blaster things that "suggest" Directv change the channel. But there is a pretty good chance that we'll soon have cable internet at the river. That would be such an improvement over satellite that I am practically giddy at the prospect of it.

So where have I been all these days? Well, work sent me to Florida and though that should have been prime blogging time, I worked so much I was completely zonked at the end of every day. Work is mercifully busy, but it never seems to take a day's rest.

However, I have been getting some knitting done. I finished the Va Tech scarf, then made it a matching hat and decided to pair that hat with another I'd made by embellishing it with a crochet brim. I don't know what to knit next, but I'm hoping I'll pick something before our visit to Baltimore next weekend. I also made some pretty kick ass chocolate cookies that resemble Rocky Road fudge.